Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheetah!

So, now that I have some free time, I chose to write up my opinion on The Cheetah Girls: One World movie. Just so you know, I planned a whole weekend around that movie. Me and my twin had a sleepover to watch the movie and everything... =/

Okay, so if I could sum up this movie in one phrase, it would be "WHY IS THE FRICKIN' CONTINUITY?" I mean, the first Cheetah Girls movie was basically made for Raven, since she had her show on Disney and all, and it turned into this big thing. Not as big as HSM, but big enough to spawn a pop group, two sequels, and movie inspired merchandise for tweenage girls. Let's start from the beginning so that you can understand my angst.

Film one is about four friends that want to win their school talent show, but get almost-discovered by a record label. Galleria, the "leader" of the group, is very goal-oriented. Her goal? To be famous. And she won't let anything stand in her way, not even her mom, teacher, crush, or...best friends. Chanel, Galleria's best friend and somewhat "lap dog", is second in command. She's kind of the fence straddler. She wants to go along with Galleria's plans, but can't help noticing how much other people are annoyed with her bestie. Aqua, the girl from Texas, doesn't have a problem speaking her mind about how big-headed Galleria is getting. Yet, she tells Chanel that she should be the one to cut Galleria down to size. She does however have a problem with taking the subway. And Dorinda, the one with the dance moves, get picked on by Galleria about her clothes, but doesn't really stand up for herself. Why? Because she has a secret. She's a foster child. *gasp*

But because this is a Disney movie, come the last scene, all their drama has ended, and they win the talent show after all.

Film two: The same set of friends take their dramas and talents over to Barcelona, Spain to win an international talent show. Three years after the first movie, the Cheetahs are high school seniors or getting out of high school, *shrugs* and they have the whole summer in front of them. Then all of the sudden, NO! Chanel has to spend the summer with her mom and mom's boyfriend in Spain, because her mom is desperate to get married. Either that or get a tattoo. Go figure. But then, as if by magic, the Cheetahs find an advertisement for a talent show in Barcelona. But gasp! Foiled again. They missed the audition deadline. But never fear, Galleria's here. She decides that if they audition over the phone at o'dark thirty in the morning (NYC time), Spain can't refuse the Cheetah's slamming a capella vocals.

So after convincing Galleria and Chanel's moms, they jet off over seas. Chanel has to pretend to like her mom's boyfriend, but fails miserably. Dorinda starts to fall for this boy named Joaquin, and "complicated" becomes her new vocabulary word. Aqua is suddenly this fierce fashionista and besties with Galleria's mom. And Galleria is left to be emo and write songs because none of her friends are serious enough to buckle down with practice. So blah, blah, blah. Some chick and her mom try to sabotage the Cheetah's chances at winning, sing-sing, Galleria gets demanding then wants to go home, sing-sing, the Cheetahs sing in their peejays to get Galleria to stay, they promise to rehearse, sing-sing, more attempts at sabotage that almost work, an almost mommy smackdown, sing-sing, the end.

One thing is relatively clear from the first two movies. Galleria is very serious about her "non-exisitent" music career.

So someone please explain to me why come movie three Galleria chose summer school over being in a movie? I know that Disney had to come up with some plotline that would explain away Raven's absence, but they could have been a little bit more realistic than that. I mean, what kind of friends are they really that they didn't even call they Cambridge-bound friend and talk about their rising fame?

That was my number one issue with the storyline. But don't fret, friends. I had more.

Like why in the world did they give so much airtime to Dorinda and her invisible ex-boyfriend? I seriously wanted to slap her. She could have been so much more mature than the way she acted and answered the daggone phone when Joaquin called. And then she got on everyone's case whenever they brought up love and stuff. Just because she was bitter about a long-distance relationship that she didn't want to deal with, she didn't have to harsh everyone else's mellow. Then her weird feelings everytime she saw an elephant (Ganesh).

Okay, can I just say that movie was just a little too mystical for my taste. I will keep my religious preferences out of this, but seriously, that was a little too much for me.

Anyhoo, Chanel did seem to get rather itchy with a 'b' now that she's the leader. She had some major flirtations with the director of the movie, which is not a very smart thing to do, ladies. You should never get in a relationship with your boss.

And Aqua was her boy crazy self. She'd break her computer just to call the Tech Support guy, who she had never met before. That doesn't not send a very good message to young viewers, in my opinion. Young, impressionable, naive and self-conscious viewers, that is.

Not everything in the movie was bad, mind you. I did like most of the music...most. I want to know what the heck "Dance Me if You Can" even means! "Outdance Me..." would make much more sense, but I digress. I have to say the music was easier to listen to on my iPod than it was while it was playing in the movie. I don't really know why, but it was. But I was hoping that they would have actually had a Hindu inspired song on the soundtrack, and not just the pop/r&b/hip-hop/disney music with an Indian flair.

I did like the dancing in the movie, but only because I'm a fan of the choreographer, Fatima. But like all Hollywood made things, they moved the camera around so much, you couldn't really see the dancing. My mom was ranting about that more than anything. She's a dance-ish teacher.

The outfits were the best part of the movie. My mom and I are mega fans of Indian garb, and at least Disney didn't disappoint in that area. Although, they could have left out the cliche use of bindis. I love bindis, but seriously. Hollywood has glamorized those things why too much.

I'm not going to rehash every single detail of the movie that I had an issue with, but let's just say...

I can count on High School Musical 3 to be better than Cheetah Girls: One World was. >.<

.selah.

p.s. HSM3. Totally better than Cheetah Girls 3!