It's Been a Long Time...

So, I was thinking to myself just a few weeks ago, "Man, I have posted on HOLLYWOOD CYNICS in a while. What is wrong with me?" I mean, I always love talking about what goes on in the Holly-Hood, especially since I live on the East Coast and E! News is definitely one of my favorite shows.

Having said that (via keyboard), I thought I should let you know that I will be posting A LOT more often on this site, in hopes of keeping it active. Plus, blogging is wacky, fun stuff... Okay, so I'm totally high off of watching too many iCarly episodes in a row, but you get the point.

HOLLYWOOD CYNICS IS OPEN FOR BID-NESS.

.selah.

Curious...

During the shoot, the pair [Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart] ended up taking the roles — and themselves — a little too seriously. They spent hours deconstructing what it meant to be a vampire, and what it meant to be in love with one. The result: big-time angst, both on screen and off. At one point, the studio began to worry their young stars had mistaken this for a Bergman movie instead of a romantic teen fairy tale. "We were like, 'We're going to play this real' and the studio was like, 'But it's fun. Lighten up!'" says Stewart, who launches into an imaginary rant at the studio suits: "You knew what you were getting when you hired actors who aren't Disney kids! We're actually going to consider the characters, and not just smile on our marks, and hope we're in focus."

-Entertainment Weekly; ew.com

Yet, who happens to be at the premiere...?

Aly Michalka

Brenda Song

Chelsea Staub

Demi Lovato

and your co-star, Taylor Lautner's best friend, Alyson Stoner.

Hmmm...


.selah.

Don't Forget Album Review

Laur had the honor of review JB's new album, so I thought I'd give my take on Demi Lovato's CD "Don't Forget".

Lyrics: 10/10. She has to be one of the best songwriters I've ever seen. Just the metaphors and how the words flow...love it!
Music: 8/10 For the most part, I like the music and instrumentals...but On the Line...it just sounded a little too Mama Mia-ish for me. Sorry, if you're a fan of that movie. I'm not.
Overall: 8.5/10. (Yes, I so used a decimal in a fraction!) I think it's a great debut album, and I can't give her a 10/10, because then she wouldn't have anything to improve on. And there is always room for improvement.

Now you should know that I've been a fan of Demi's since 07. Once I saw her sing on As The Bell Rings, I knew big things were planned in her future. And I was right! A year later, she's done Camp Rock, toured with the Jonas Brothers, and starred in the yet to be released Princess Protection Program with her bestie Selena Gomez. That is one heck of a year, if you ask me. Honestly, I'm slightly jealous. The girl can wail like there's no t'morrow, she plays the guitar and piano, and she's played sold out shows at Madison Square Garden. That is most definitely enviable.

I've always thought of her as, like, a 15...well, now 16 year old mix of Christina Aguilera and Kelly Clarkson, with the stage presence of Paramore's Hayley Williams. Not a bad combo, in my opinion. I'm a fan of all those girls. Their vocals are insane, and Demi is no exception.

Her CD "Don't Forget" came out September 23 and I hope it does well on the Billboard charts, cos, frankly, I think she deserves it. She seems like the coolest kid. I may be a cynic, but may I remind you, I am no Perez Hilton. I don't call 15 year old girls sluts...for the most part. xP

So, track one is La La Land, which is a song with great vocals and an even better message. Especially with lines like I'm not a supermodel. I still eat McDonald's. Seriously, I think this should be the anthem for the new 90210. Have you seen how skinny those chicks are?! Although, the beginning riff is so similar to JB's Video Girl...Okay, I'm almost positive it's the same.

Get Back I'm sure most of you have already heard. If not, it's all over Radio Disney and Youtube. Again, it's lyrically sound, but after a while, one could get tired of it.

Trainwreck is so one of my top favorites. It has that angry, sarcastic edge to it, but it's about love. I love it. Plus, the lyrics would keep it from being played on Radio Disney. At least the CD version. RD could always have her record a "edited" version. Why to be a rebel, Demi!

Party is pretty cool. Her vocals are really good, as is the music, but it's more of a song just to dance to than to make you contemplate life.

On the Line is what I guess you could call a duet with the Jonas Brothers. (Really, it's her, Joe, and Nick at different intervals. Duet is two people.) I like the lyrics for the most part, but musically, I'm not a fan of the song. Every time I listen to the song, I get the image of Mama Mia in my mind. =/

Don't Forget...if the title track. For some reason, every time I hear this song, I think she's singing about Cody Linley. *shrugs* Perhaps...But it's a pretty good song. Definitely the type of song you'll listen to when you think about an ex.

Gonna Get Caught is pretty cool. It reminds me of the early Demi. The Demi a year ago, when she was still on As the Bell Rings, had a gap in between her front teeth, and had time to answer messages on her myspace. It's very reminiscent of her demos Open, Trash and Shadow.

Two Worlds Collide is definitely a highlight on the album. 98% of the world has heard that she wrote this song about her best friend, Selena. But if you listen carefully, the song tells the story of Demi and Selena's characters in Princess Protection Program. And it doesn't hurt that Selena contributes her vocals for a line in the song. If you listen closely around 2:15, you can hear her. I wouldn't be surprised if this song popped up on the PPP soundtrack.

The Middle is my second favorite song on her CD. Her vocals, insane. The riffs, great. The lyrics, amazing. Plus, I like that the song isn't about being apathetic in a relationship, and it's not about being head over heels in love. It's about that perfect balance, which I can never seem to find. XD

Until You're Mine...from the first time I heard this song in some youtube video from one of her concerts early this summer, I knew I'd love it. And I do. It may be about desperately wanting to be with someone, but most of us have all been there. I know I certainly have. My favorite lyric is My state of mind has finally got the best of me. And I can completely relate to that feeling. Now that I think of it, this song so describes Edward and Bella from Twilight. (Yes, I am totally a Twilighter!)

And Believe in Me is pretty good too. It describes what everyone wants. To like themselves for who they are. It's like a Disney version of Christina Aguilera's Beautiful.

Grades:
1. La La Land 9/10
2. Get Back 8/10
3. Trainwreck 9.5/10
4. Party 8/10
5. On The Line (featuring the Jonas Brothers) 7/10
6. Don't Forget 8/10
7. Gonna Get Caught 9/10
8. Two Worlds Collide 10/10
9. The Middle 10/10
10. Until You're Mine 10/10
11. Believe In Me 9/10

.selah.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheetah!

So, now that I have some free time, I chose to write up my opinion on The Cheetah Girls: One World movie. Just so you know, I planned a whole weekend around that movie. Me and my twin had a sleepover to watch the movie and everything... =/

Okay, so if I could sum up this movie in one phrase, it would be "WHY IS THE FRICKIN' CONTINUITY?" I mean, the first Cheetah Girls movie was basically made for Raven, since she had her show on Disney and all, and it turned into this big thing. Not as big as HSM, but big enough to spawn a pop group, two sequels, and movie inspired merchandise for tweenage girls. Let's start from the beginning so that you can understand my angst.

Film one is about four friends that want to win their school talent show, but get almost-discovered by a record label. Galleria, the "leader" of the group, is very goal-oriented. Her goal? To be famous. And she won't let anything stand in her way, not even her mom, teacher, crush, or...best friends. Chanel, Galleria's best friend and somewhat "lap dog", is second in command. She's kind of the fence straddler. She wants to go along with Galleria's plans, but can't help noticing how much other people are annoyed with her bestie. Aqua, the girl from Texas, doesn't have a problem speaking her mind about how big-headed Galleria is getting. Yet, she tells Chanel that she should be the one to cut Galleria down to size. She does however have a problem with taking the subway. And Dorinda, the one with the dance moves, get picked on by Galleria about her clothes, but doesn't really stand up for herself. Why? Because she has a secret. She's a foster child. *gasp*

But because this is a Disney movie, come the last scene, all their drama has ended, and they win the talent show after all.

Film two: The same set of friends take their dramas and talents over to Barcelona, Spain to win an international talent show. Three years after the first movie, the Cheetahs are high school seniors or getting out of high school, *shrugs* and they have the whole summer in front of them. Then all of the sudden, NO! Chanel has to spend the summer with her mom and mom's boyfriend in Spain, because her mom is desperate to get married. Either that or get a tattoo. Go figure. But then, as if by magic, the Cheetahs find an advertisement for a talent show in Barcelona. But gasp! Foiled again. They missed the audition deadline. But never fear, Galleria's here. She decides that if they audition over the phone at o'dark thirty in the morning (NYC time), Spain can't refuse the Cheetah's slamming a capella vocals.

So after convincing Galleria and Chanel's moms, they jet off over seas. Chanel has to pretend to like her mom's boyfriend, but fails miserably. Dorinda starts to fall for this boy named Joaquin, and "complicated" becomes her new vocabulary word. Aqua is suddenly this fierce fashionista and besties with Galleria's mom. And Galleria is left to be emo and write songs because none of her friends are serious enough to buckle down with practice. So blah, blah, blah. Some chick and her mom try to sabotage the Cheetah's chances at winning, sing-sing, Galleria gets demanding then wants to go home, sing-sing, the Cheetahs sing in their peejays to get Galleria to stay, they promise to rehearse, sing-sing, more attempts at sabotage that almost work, an almost mommy smackdown, sing-sing, the end.

One thing is relatively clear from the first two movies. Galleria is very serious about her "non-exisitent" music career.

So someone please explain to me why come movie three Galleria chose summer school over being in a movie? I know that Disney had to come up with some plotline that would explain away Raven's absence, but they could have been a little bit more realistic than that. I mean, what kind of friends are they really that they didn't even call they Cambridge-bound friend and talk about their rising fame?

That was my number one issue with the storyline. But don't fret, friends. I had more.

Like why in the world did they give so much airtime to Dorinda and her invisible ex-boyfriend? I seriously wanted to slap her. She could have been so much more mature than the way she acted and answered the daggone phone when Joaquin called. And then she got on everyone's case whenever they brought up love and stuff. Just because she was bitter about a long-distance relationship that she didn't want to deal with, she didn't have to harsh everyone else's mellow. Then her weird feelings everytime she saw an elephant (Ganesh).

Okay, can I just say that movie was just a little too mystical for my taste. I will keep my religious preferences out of this, but seriously, that was a little too much for me.

Anyhoo, Chanel did seem to get rather itchy with a 'b' now that she's the leader. She had some major flirtations with the director of the movie, which is not a very smart thing to do, ladies. You should never get in a relationship with your boss.

And Aqua was her boy crazy self. She'd break her computer just to call the Tech Support guy, who she had never met before. That doesn't not send a very good message to young viewers, in my opinion. Young, impressionable, naive and self-conscious viewers, that is.

Not everything in the movie was bad, mind you. I did like most of the music...most. I want to know what the heck "Dance Me if You Can" even means! "Outdance Me..." would make much more sense, but I digress. I have to say the music was easier to listen to on my iPod than it was while it was playing in the movie. I don't really know why, but it was. But I was hoping that they would have actually had a Hindu inspired song on the soundtrack, and not just the pop/r&b/hip-hop/disney music with an Indian flair.

I did like the dancing in the movie, but only because I'm a fan of the choreographer, Fatima. But like all Hollywood made things, they moved the camera around so much, you couldn't really see the dancing. My mom was ranting about that more than anything. She's a dance-ish teacher.

The outfits were the best part of the movie. My mom and I are mega fans of Indian garb, and at least Disney didn't disappoint in that area. Although, they could have left out the cliche use of bindis. I love bindis, but seriously. Hollywood has glamorized those things why too much.

I'm not going to rehash every single detail of the movie that I had an issue with, but let's just say...

I can count on High School Musical 3 to be better than Cheetah Girls: One World was. >.<

.selah.

p.s. HSM3. Totally better than Cheetah Girls 3!

Jonas Brothers New Album

Jonas Brothers: A Little Bit Longer Review
By Laur the Cynic.
Music/Melody/Guitar Riff Rating: 10/10. Absolutely amazing. Music better than previous albums.
Lyrics: 2/10. Left much to be desired. How many freakin’ songs could be about girls? We get it. You love her, she hates you. Move on. Move on. (Name that song, obsessed punks)
Overall Album: C-, for the manufactured Disney trash lyrics even though they’re paired with awesome guitar lines.

Don’t get me wrong; I have been a fan of them since March 2006. I even own It’s About Time. I’m one of the old Pre-Disney fans. I accept the music for what it is, not about how so called ‘hotties’ they are. (JB are the current TCA Male Hotties, like I didn’t see that coming, with these lovely new fans.)

The new album titled, ‘A Little Bit Longer’ comes out on August 12th, will most likely outsell the Jonas Brothers debut album and sophomore album with its eyes closed. Thank you Disney, for giving them everything they needed. Including fans that have an obsession so large that it cannot be healthy. Oh! And a new 3D movie, which kids are gonna cry like those pathetic ‘My Super Sweet 16’ girls, that they just ‘have’ to see the movie, that will only be out for “one week.”

I’ll stop ranting about the pains and agonies of an old Jonas fan. And talk about this lovely album…

First off, is the lovely song: BB Good. The title reminds me of Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry, but that is the closest resemblance those two songs have. The previews of this song were very promising with a very catchy chorus, a song about being good to them and being happy, and even treating a girl right. Then, it happens. No, the world doesn’t explode, but extremely close. Joseph’s line (which was basically screamed) ‘I wanna kiss you,’ scares the living crap out of you, as you are running to the nearest shelter in fear of an F5 tornado or another natural disaster anomaly. The rest of the song is about them being a great cou.. cou.. yeah. They don’t even finish the word couple, and I guess the only thing good is like, I don’t know, the great guitar riffs?

Moving on, Burning Up is a song, which is about a girl in a red dress and heels. Chauvinist pigs. I’m sure that I don’t even need to review this song. Since, you can probably tell from the opinion of the rest of the lyrics of this album, nothing needs to be said.


Oh, surprise! Another heartbreak song! They make it seem like they’re so famous and loved, and that they’re not dating anyone. I mean, sure. They deserve a private life. But, come on, can’t they sing about anything more than break ups. How nasty breakups can they have between them? Shelf is not a bad song, it is one of the songs that garnered this album the 2 points for lyrics on this album. Giving your heart to someone who cares, and not just to anyone is an actually meaningful lyric. Snaps to them.

Okay, One Man Show… I’ve yet to understand what the heck is going on in this song. From what I can understand, it’s about not needed someone to continue living. I sure hope so, its not like they’re your liver or brain or something. Still, what song isn’t about a girl on this album? There’s plenty more stuff to write about.

Okay, seriously. I cannot do every single song on this album. I’ll go insane from writing so much. I was never a writer.

I’ll go with the high points of the record. Basically, in a nutshell, A Little Bit Longer is the highlight of the album. Probably not surprising that the title track is in fact the highlight, but what can you do.

I don’t hate the album, I just don’t like it.

Ratings of the songs—
BB Good –8.5/10 [Was good until the screaming part, and all that weird stuff]
Burning Up – 8/10/ [Cliché, and I’m tired of this song]
Shelf – 9/10 [One of the better ones]
One Man Show – 7/10 [Confusing]
Lovebug – 7.5/10 [When I figure it out..]
Tonight – 6/10 [Okay]
Can’t Have You – 7.5/10
Video Girl 8.5/10. [Not bad... kind of weird. Hard to understand at first.]

Pushing Me Away – 9/10 [Good beat]

Sorry - 8.5/10 [Falsetto just scares me, other than that. Not bad.]

Got Me Going Crazy - 9/10 [Opening is like Australia a tad, but the underlying bass line is incredibly catchy]

A Little Bit Longer –10/10/ [It’s possible to be on my good side]

Perez Hilton might hurt me. I must now run. It seems that I use this place to talk about these punks, oh well. I'll find something else... oh, I got a wonderful topic for next time. Ta-ta!

P.S. The Album Art is SCARY!

:/

I happen to like both, well, all three, including Demi. I'm still sketchy about Mandy, but...whatever. I just don't see why it matters if Miley is better than Selena or if Selena is better than Miley. And don't tell me it has to do with Nick Jonas. I'm pretty sure from the looks of the very first Miley&Mandy show video that Miley and Nick were already broken up, so I doubt Miley made that video parody because she was jealous of Selena dating Nick...if she is dating him. See to me, even if they do look cute together, I don't believe Selena and Nick are dating. With Miley and Nick, it was obvious. But him and Selena...if they are, they are definitely more discreet.

Anyway...
I like Selena Gomez.
I like Miley Cyrus.

I'm not going to say which one is better, because they are both different, unique, talented people. I wish people would stop trying to pit them against each other. For goodness sake, they're fifteen and sixteen years old. If they weren't famous and in high school, no one would give a rat's behind about them and who they're dating, and what they put on youtube.

.selah.

Let the Hypocrisy Roll!

This occured to me last night but has still got me peeved.



This whole thing started yesterday, the 6th of May 2008, just for reference sake. I was so stoked to get The Host, the new, non-Twilight book by Stephenie Meyer. I had gone to Barnes & Nobles after school and started reading it as soon as I walked out of the store. It was around 8:30 or so, when I realized I hadn't been on the computer all day, which is pretty much an anomaly for me. I forced myself to put the book aside so I could check my email, myspace, youtube, CF, etc. Yet, still in the Stephenie Meyer related spirit, I checked out some Twilight, Edward&Bella themed fansites. One in particular (www.edwardandbella.net) had a few outtakes of a very recent photo shoot with Kristen Stewart. Curious, I checked them out. Kristen's 18, so I wasn't too perturb by the theme of the shoot. Four girls, dressed in white, long-sleeve, button down shirts and white or nude underwear at the beach. It wasn't until I realized one of the girls was newly seventeen year old Emma Roberts, from Nickelodeon's Unfabulous, in the company of Blake Lively from Gossip Girl, Kristen, and Amanda...still don't know her last name (Karen from Mean Girls).

Now when the general public gets ahold of these pictures, we'll be able to see just how hypocritical America really is. And we'll see that Miley's Vanity Fair pictures had more to do with her being "Miley Cyrus" than any propaganda about her age or her parents or her billion dollar franchise with Disney. Now I know Emma isn't as popular as Miley, that's for sure, but it's really the principle of the matter. How are people going to condemn one but not another for very similar circumstances?

Personally, I like Miley more than Emma. I did used to watch Unfabulous when it was on because I liked the fact that she sang and played guitar, and I used to find the plots funny. But then after a while, the character Addie seemed to get a bit too controlling and self-centered from my liking. Plus, I kind of got sick of reading the same interview answer over and over. You know, how Emma didn't want people to know her because her aunt is Julia Roberts, but for her talent, although she's want to have the career longevity like her aunt. So, not like her aunt...but like her aunt. *shrugs*

I find Miley a bit more real. I'm from the south so I get her humor. And, hey! We've seen her bounce back from a lot of adversity, not just from her fans, but from the media, and a great portion of today's youth, who chewed her to pieces. Emma hasn't really gone through anything to make me want to support her. Like I've said, I like my celebrities with a little edge. I like Vanessa Hudgens, despite your lapse in judgement. Yes, I do still like Britney Spears, no matter how out there she may get. Heaven forbid she become the next Anna Nicole. I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, however cynical I may be. I believe, with enough support, a person CAN get back on the wagon, so to speak. Even, Emily Osment, who may not have done anything out of line, but she did have the guts to say that she doesn't want to sign with Disney's record label, Hollywood Records, for her music dealings, especially since she has to go through Disney with just about any aspect of her career, while she's under contract for Hannah Montana.

I don't want to see a big controversy that will make people question Emma as a good role model like people do with Miley, but I do want to see people "walk" their "talk". If they are going to punish one person for something, then that should go for all. Everyone came down hard on Miley and her family because she's 15 (underage) and the supposed "artsy" pictures were too revealing for the Disney starlet. Are wet t-shirt pictures an exception for celebrity minors? I mean, Emma just turned seventeen. She's still not legal.

Or does it have to do with, not who the picture is taken of, but what name is tacked on to the end of their name? There's Cyrus, considered as "country" somewhat infiltrating the Hollywood, since a lot of people don't see them as serious performers, which they really are. Then there's the Roberts, seen as kind of the prestigious acting family in Hollywood. Would the media not want to make a big thing about Emma's pictures because they don't want to ruffle the feathers of the Robert's family and all their cohorts?

I don't think either pictures were all that bad. I just think people are so starved for scandal that they will blow things way out of propotions. But when things get so bad for one person, yet another isn't held accountable, it sort of tips the scale on how fair the world really is. A double standard. And that's something I really despise.

.selah.